For 12 years I had no idea how much I weighed. I hadn’t looked at that number since my daughter was born. At the doctor’s office I got on the scale backwards and just told them I didn’t want to know what it said. I guess it should not have been a big surprise when at an annual check up she handed me 2 scripts, 1 for blood pressure meds and 1 for cholesterol. I had a 12 year old daughter and I was about to start the window sill full of pills! A few days later my husband and I were on a motorcycle run, a fundraiser for a kid I went to highschool with. He was killed in an accident and it was to raise money for his kids. Many people I went to school with were there alot, I hadn’t seen in over 20 years and I was having a blast until… Another kid I went to school with (who was in an accident himself when we were younger so his filter is off) walked right up to me and said “what the hell happened to you? You use to be hot” In that moment I just wanted to disappear and be anywhere but there. He said it outloud but I knew that is what everyone else must have been thinking.
You see I had a 12 year old daughter who I didn’t want to grow up with a mom who always had to stop to take a pill or leave someplace early to go get a pill. And the benefit I was at was an annual thing and to top it off it was put on by my ex husband and his wife (by the way 2 wonderful people) but there was no way I would go back the next year and not be hot!
These 2 things are what drove me to lose weight and actually quit smoking as well. I had smoked for 25 years (2 packs a day) and my doctor told me I had to lose at least 30 pounds and quit to get rid of the pills.
At this time for this year this was my WHY this was what pushed me to walk through the doors at weight watchers and to make many of the changes and choices I made.
What I learned the hard way is your WHY has to be strong enough and needs to be revisited regularly. When the doc gave me the ok on the pills and I hit lifetime and the next run was over I relaxed my efforts (ALOT) I also dieted my way through weight watchers round 1 but that’s for a whole other post.
I had no desire to gain weight back but I had nothing really driving me to make the choices I needed to make.
Now I understand how powerful this tool is and I truly make sure I have an arsenal of WHY’s. There are so many temptations we fight daily and having something that is stronger and we want more than what we either want to do or don’t want to do in the moment makes this journey so much easier.
Many times a we think of a goal and our WHY as the same thing but they really are different. My goal was to be healthy on the surface and to not have to take pills but beneath that was the WHY or the reason that was so important to me and that comes with the feeling. Most of us are driven by our feelings and many times in a negative direction so why not use them to head us in a positive direction?
I know search for them and I write them down and on the days I get into a funk or I find myself saying why do I even bother I pull them out and look at them as a reminder of WHY I am making the choices I am making. My neighbor the same age as my husband passed away suddenly a couple weeks before my daughters wedding. At the service his oldest daughter who is engaged as well said to me that her Dad would have been a great Grandpa and how sad it made her that they would never get to know him. This is at the top of my why list now, seeing the pain in that young girls eyes is nothing I want my daughter to have to feel. Honestly anything could happen and I could be taken unexpectedly at any time but it will not be at my own hand because I wanted to eat crap or not move or not take care of myself.
Truly this applies to anything we want to do. If you have a strong enough desire and can get to the place where you feel it you will have the Motivation you need.
A good way to get below the surface goal is to sit down with a notebook and pen and write all the reasons why losing weight matters to you. Then keep asking why and keep asking why until you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach or you find yourself in tears… that’s when you know it is strong enough.
Another thing I see a lot are people trying to make it about what they think it should be. It’s ok to want to look good. Think about how life looks when you feel good in your own skin. I know that I am more confident and I am a much happier person which makes everyone around me happier as well.
There are so many reasons but they need to be yours and from within you. Without a strong enough desire all the weight loss tools, tips and tricks won’t work because you most likely won’t use or do them.
If you’re not sure WHY it matters take some time and figure it out. It can be a huge game changer for you.