I woke up early this morning feeling incredibly overwhelmed. So many things running through my mind. So many things that are out of my control. I went downstairs and turned on the news and opened my computer. We all know that certainly did nothing but add to how I already felt.
It was raining out and unseasonably cold and my first thought was no walk today. Second was what is the weather going to be like Saturday for my daughter’s wedding. What if its like this out? Some sites said chance of showers others said mostly sunny. Again not at all in my control.
Yesterday I attended a wake for a friends son who was only 24 years old, very close to my daughter’s age and last week I attended one for my neighbor who died suddenly and was Wayne’s age and my mind keeps going to the what if”s. My heart hurts for my friends who have lost their loved ones and I just want to be able to help take away some of the pain. Not anything I can control.
My birthday was yesterday and I was thinking about all of the things I never did and wish I had and many of the things that I wish I had done so different. Not a thing I can do about the past now
I also indulged for dinner last night and as I mentioned will be walking my daughter down the aisle next weekend and was getting down because I wasn’t going to be able to take my walk. And then I remembered what a good friend of mine always said about his weight loss journey when it came to taking his walks “I got fat in the rain and I can lose weight in the rain” and I put on some warm clothes and grabbed my umbrella.
I started out just looking around everything was so green. It was very early and it was so quiet that I could hear every drop of rain fall and every bird chirp. I just started to take in the beauty of it all. It was so cool to see all that beauty even in the rain. Most days on my walk I pray or try to at least. So many days I struggle with distractions either going on outside or in my mind. Today I spent my entire walk just talking to God. I didn’t really ask for anything I just told him how I was feeling. It was pouring by the time I got home and I didn’t even notice the rain. My heart felt full and I felt so much lighter.
On my walk I was reminded of a verse that helped me through a very challenging time with Wayne
Philippians 4 6:7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
None of the things that were weighing so heavy on my mind changed in the hour I was gone. But I came home a different girl than the one that walked out the door.